CEO Murderer's Anti-Capitalist Manifesto

(Presented by Shopify™)

Luigi Mangione, the 26 year-old gunman accused of murdering UnitedHealthcare CEO, Brian Thompson, was found in Pennsylvania with a 3D printed gun, a Fake-I.D., and a manifesto full of ad-reads for major brands.

The text is also full of anti-capitalist sentiment, with phrases like “These parasites had it coming,” “it had to be done," and a reference to UnitedHealthcare’s ever-growing market cap.

Only a select few pull quotes have been released so far. Luckily, I’ve received an exclusive copy of the full manifesto, and here are some excerpts that have been largely ignored by the mainstream media.

Hopefully, these quotes will give more insight into the mind of this alleged shooter, who so very clearly harbors a deep distain for corporate America.

Here’s one:

“Carefully plotting an assassination takes hours and hours of incriminating research. I’m constantly looking up things like, “How To 3D Print an Untraceable Gun” and “Brian Thompson Schedule.” It’d be a shame if the feds were able to get a hold of my damning search history, and for that reason, I use ExpressVPN. Protect your online privacy by heading over to ExpressVPN.com. Enter code: ‘LUIGI-DID-MURDER’ at check-out for a free 3-Month trial.”

You’d think somebody willing to kill in effort to raise public consciousness about corporate greed wouldn’t be such a shill himself, but you’d be wrong. Here’s another 100% real quote from Luigi’s manifesto:

“If you’re anything like me, you’re about to do a murder, and my post-murder routine requires a lot of fleeing. That’s why I supplement with Athletic Greens. AG-1 is a science-backed solution for energy, focus, and high performance- especially when on the run from federal agents. Head over to AthleticGreens.com and save up to 20% on your first order by entering code ‘CORPORATIONS-R-BAD’ at check-out. That’s ‘C-O-R-P-O-R-A-T-I-O-N-S-R-B-A-D’ for 20% off Athletic Greens.

Woof! This guy DOES. NOT. LIKE. CORPORATE. GREED. Luigi wraps up his anti-capitalist tirade on a more sentimental note:

“My actions will cause severe trauma to the family of my victim, my own family, and anybody else who’d prefer not to be shot in the back. If you fall into any of those categories, I recommend BetterHelp.Com. BetterHelp makes finding a therapist easier than ever, and believe me- with the amount of people you know who’ll applaud my actions, you’re gonna need a good one.

If you once thought that MURDER = BAD and NOT MURDER = GOOD, and now you don’t know how your personal set of morals fit into modern society, then visit BetterHelp dot com slash SOMETIMESMURDERGOOD? today to get 10% off your first month. That’s BETTER H - E - L - P dot com slash S-O-M-E-T-I-M-E-S-M-U-R-D-E-R-G-O-O-D?”

Luigi fought tooth and nail against the evils of corporate greed until he was ultimately caught eating at a McDonald’s.